{When enough is enough}

I clean when I'm angry or something really heavy is playing on my mind. I think it's the way that I deal with things; problems, silly arguments, big decisions.  I've had a bit on my plate lately, enough to stress me out {I'm a terrible nail biter} and have had an unclear head, much like this photo.  My head is this.


Last week I found out that I've hit a bump in the road with my studies and it felt like everything was unravelling and spinning out of control.  All of this pressure hit me like a tonne of bricks and my head {and heart} have been on shutdown.  Decisions needed to be made; but with a mind like this... it's just been shit.  Really shit.  


I've been so angry at myself for having to re-assess and weigh up many options... a different career, different place of study, will there be another baby, what to do next semester, money money money and everything in between. I think I'm afraid of the what if?  What if I make the wrong decision?  What if the timing is just not right? What if Avie is/isn't enough for us? What if I waste another degree? 


I feel like I've lost my drive.  My spirit.  My passion.  I need it back.  Passion keeps me going.  I *need* the drive to paint {assessments due in two weeks! argh!} to want to capture beautiful moments of Avie, to lay in the sun and just stop.  


So I did what I needed to do.  I needed a clean mind {and creative area} to pull everything apart and start fresh.

A short while later... welcome to my new space.  A relaxed state of mind, bits of inspiration, beauty, handmade love {found a use for my coasters} some clarity {you can *see* the desk!!} and a sense of peace.  

*Everything is going to be fine*  
Decisions have been made.  
Now to take that leap of faith.


{End of rant}

What do you do when things get too much?

{Sunday Best}

Sundays are for lazy lie ins {for some lucky buggers}


Sundays are for strong coffees and yummy breakfast.


Sundays are relaxing.


Sundays are washing sheets days. {And jumping into a fresh bed}


Sundays are changing a babies room into a little girls room {and being super jealous it's better than yours}


Sundays are for eating your ice-cream bottom up. {Can't say it's clever though.. hint hint Avie Pie}


Sundays are smelling a freshly mowed lawn {and rubbing your feet in it. best. feeling. ever.}


Sundays are preparing for the week ahead. {or deciding on a nail colour!}


Sundays are inspiring. {or unearthing inspiration in unexpected places}


Sundays are perfect to watch the sunset {and be in complete awe}


Sundays are for listening to some beautiful {worship} music {Leeland}


Sunday, bloody Sunday. {U2 rocks}


Sundays are best.

Hope you had a wonderful weekend!

xx Angie

{Last week: the good, the bad & the fun}

Another week bites the dust! {A month til Avie turns 2! Seriously, where is time/this year going?}


The good bits.... 
We have been blessed with crazy insanely warm weather {I'm still bringin' the cardi's out!} and have been making the most of it as of late; parks, beaches, picnics outside.  


Hanging out at GOMA {Gallery of Modern Art} with my Mumma & little princess.  I love Galleries, and don't go enough - we wandered through the Womans exhibition and made a nest & birdie in the amazing kiddies section.  


Avie hangin' out with Ruby Pie; meaning I get to hang out with Sar Bear. Win win!

The bad bits....
A super sick family is never fun!  Luckily I only got sick at the end of the week and was able to look after the two sick kids {Mr H & Avie} Flu season and I are not friends.


A hiccup in my studying; causing havoc and a mid life crisis is creeping up on me.  Decisions, choices and a whole lot of pro/con lists.  Watch this space!


Losing my mojo for creativity - from photos, to painting and doing assignments.  Not feelin' it so much this week.  {This makes me sad}


The fun!
Avie & I spent most of the week together {both off sick from tafe/daycare} and it's been awesome.  GOMA was lots of fun, hanging with our friends, endless park visits, coffee dates, a wee bit of shopping {damn sale time!} and morning bed cuddles.  I've fallen more in love with my little princess this past week and am so lucky to have her in my life.  

How was your week?

{When chance & coincidence met: Soul Besties}

A very very long time ago, in some crazy cosmic universe, two paths crossed and a friendship was sparked, created and treasured.  {Well that's how I like to think it happened!}  One of my closest friendships, going on six years of amazing love, has produced also two babies who are soul sisters. 


This friend, some might know since I blab about her often, Sarah, is a god send.  She's been by my side, might I add on one insane roller coaster ride of my life {she's the more stable one!} held my hand through thick and thin, listened to all sorts of rubbish and a tough start to motherhood, and shared my wedding day with me.  I honestly wouldn't know where I would be today, without her.

As I was gibber gabbering on before about cosmic stars and delightful universes, we both had a little girl each, just under two weeks apart.  Rubilicious and Avacado.  The little rays of sunshine, in both our lives, and I am loving each and every step that they share growing up together.  I know, they aren't *even* two years old BUT we dream that they'll be besties for life.  I hope that they become supportive of each others dreams, can cry and laugh together over anything, and know that no matter what - they will stand by each other.  No pressure! 


And if they don't {I am not even acknowledging this!} BUT I will always have my gorgeous friend, Sar, who lights up my days with her hilarious-ness and listening ear.  Growing up, we moved every year {could explain my itchy feet to always be on the go go go!} so I don't have any friends from my childhood but I hope Avacado will have that special connection I missed out on.

To baby soul besties,

Do you have a bestie/friend from growing up?

xx Angie

P.s Sar is also doing the photo a day challenge and her photos are STUNNING! Please check her out here <3

P.sssss most of these gorgeous photos are courtesy of Sarahs marvellous skills, so really, dude! check her out here!

{Lemons}

Whenever lemon springs to mind, I think bitter, citrus & fruity, sweet {lemon butter} and something I use in hot water when I feel like a detox.  Until Mothers Day.  Mr H, although I think I might be more personal and refer to him as Adam {it is his real name} is one hell of strong man.  Sure at times, emotions run wild, especially when you lose two close people to you and so close together, but he still holds us together, especially on Mothers Day.  I know that I would find it hard to face each day, but he does. With much stubbornness, but he does. 

We decided on a lemon tree for Mothers Day this year, to remember and celebrate his mother.  Not that Adam doesn't remember her, but more about giving him a little more closure and having a physical object that suits Molly down to a T.  Molly would eat lemons WHOLE.  Yes, you heard right!  I love this, especially since Avalon eats strawberries WHOLE.  Yes, the stem too!

It is planted {with a lot of love} in a pot until we decided where we are going to settle down and then we will find it a permanent place to bear citrusy fruit.  It was beautiful watching Avie help her Dad, and watching all the love and care in the world potting it and watering it. I look forward to nuturing it, watching it grow and produce, and to bring us together each and every Mothers Day and celebrate one wonderful woman. 

In Memory of Molly.

xx Angie

P.s I will be happily taking ANY gardening tips as 99.9% of plant life tends to die in my care.  This cannot die!

{A Mamas Day}

Honestly, every day feels like Mothers Day, not that I get breaky in bed every day!  I do feel so blessed and happy to be able to share my love and life with little Avalon - and in turn, there are abundant hugs, smooches and the cutest 'Ov You's every day. But I am glad that we do have a day and really take the time to thank my {our own} Mamas {for some, Papas}, Nanas, Grandmas and the Great Grandmas too.  


It's so easy to take their love for granted at times, and being able to spend the day with them or lavish them with a little pressie or flowers is surely just a small way to say thank you and remind them that they are pretty important.  


In our house, Mothers Day is also a day of remembrance especially for Mr H.  His beautiful Mama {Molly} passed away almost five years ago, and I was never able to meet the amazing woman who raised the love of my life or experience a Mother-In-Law figure. Mr H tries to be strong, and I pretend that I don't see his man tears for such a sad loss, but he always pulls through to make sure I have a wonderful Mothers Day.


So today we bought a lemon tree*.  I may or may not have nudged Mr H so that he had a reminder of her with us always, and even though he couldn't give her flowers or tell her he loves her today - we are able to have a tree of remembrance, always. We plan on telling Avalon stories of her as she grows up so that she will have some kind of knowledge about her Nan that she never met.  I plan on not letting this sucker ever die.

Hope you all had a wonderful Mamas Day with your families and loved ones!

xx Angie

* Watch this space - will be posting about this further in the week once we have potted it!  There is no green thumb on these hands - but I am so excited to pot some lemon love.

{My Story: New Beginnings}

Today was a special day for me - and my family, but mainly me.  Today, I took the plunge of faith and decided to be baptised. How I got here I couldn't really tell you.  But I can tell you it is one of the happiest decisions {and days} that I have ever made, and that despite the highs and the *pretty shit* lows, I am so glad I made this decision.


I was raised a Christian, but somewhere along the way I decided I wanted to party hard and live life however I wanted, that no one was going to tell me what to do or how I should be living.  I paid the price of that; the heavy drinking and partying, and spiraling out of happiness control.  I hit rock bottom before I realised I needed *hope*.  I was desperate.  I *needed* peace, joy, the spirit to live each day to the max, and to be someone that I would want to hang out with.  I slowly found what I was missing, and started to search for a happier life - the meaning of life, ultimately deciding that I wanted and needed to be baptised.


What did today mean to me?  *A new beginning* - a fresh start, proclaiming my pursuit of Jesus in my everyday life, spreading his word {love}, finding inner happiness and joy.  I feel beyond joyous.  More like I'm on Cloud Nine, that I'm dancing on clouds, twirling and spinning, full of peace.  A sense of peace that I have craved for a very long time.  I have been wanting to write share about my testimony of faith and belief, for no other reason than to share more of me with you and because it's important to me.

So friends, happy Saturday to you!  

xx Angie